Comments for zackbms's Blog

Comment on the Bad Concience(revised) by andrebms

andrebms — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 05:27:21 +0000

This was a semi-good story. Make sure to re-read your story because there a few grammatical errors. I think you should add more to your story. I think you should talk about stuff that your consience says when your in bad situations, then you willi have a good story.

Comment on looks can be deceiving by marshmallow (Marshall)

marshmallow (Marshall) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:46:06 +0000

Hey Zack, your “i”s must be capitalized. Also, “i was a 9 year old afraid of roller coasters how stupid .” should be “I was a 9 year old afraid of roller coasters how stupid.” I liked how in the second line you stated, i had been having a great time collecting candy at the little Great America tents,”…….now i was collecting panic and fear……” even though it should be,”…….now I was collecting panic and fear……”. I would have liked to know how the roller coaster was and how scary it was though, and the name of it, (To check it out next time I go there.) Overall I liked it.

Comment on looks can be deceiving by andrebms

andrebms — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:29:26 +0000

Start with capitals at the beginning of each sentence and you may want to add comas when you said ” I was a nine years old afraid of rollercoasters how stupid.” I thought it was very interesting

Comment on looks can be deceiving by steven

steven — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 02:05:12 +0000

You also need to have capital I’s

Comment on looks can be deceiving by steven

steven — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 00:05:30 +0000

Hey Zack you need a capital on the first leter of a sentence and a story. Just thought I would let you know